Memorial day

A few weeks ago, I spent a day with my mom at the business where we were to buy my father’s memorial stone.  The owner was a patient for the doctor my mom worked for, and was offered a substantial discount on the stone.  The stone arrived about two weeks ago, and was, sometime in the last week installed in the ground.

This particular design was designed by the owner’s mother, who had herself designed memorial stones for years before turning the business over to the daughter.

In the upper left are crossed anchors, representing dad’s time in the navy.

On the right is the outline of a chalice which contains chaffs of wheat and a cross.  Mom really liked the design, so I didn’t want to bring it up to here, but she later realized that a cup that holds wine, and chaffs of what looks like hops or barley could have a double meaning.  I think she thought that the double meaning might serve as an interesting message to whomever might see it later.  The “Gampa” is what Maddie called him.  For many weeks when she would visit the house, and dad would be in the bedroom sleeping, she would go up to the room and close the door saying “Gampa’s sick”.  Even after he had died, she would come over and repeat this for a time.  One time, mom told her that “Gampa isn’t really in there.”  She replied “I know, Gampa’s with the angels”.  Maddie and her brother Liam have been very good for mom over the last few weeks.

I will claim credit for suggesting the bottom line after the fact.  Before the proof was made, I suggested using the last line of text for something suggested by the Serenity Prayer.

I think mom made an excellent choice.  The stone is black and highly polished, which helps it to stand out against the other stones in the area, which are mostly light grey or reddish.

Visiting the cemetery today, I had forgotten that my mother’s father is buried two space over from my father (the intervening space is reserved fro mom), and the last space is reserved for ….

… well, for many years, it was assumed that it would be for me, though as time is passing, it may be more suited for Scott.  Normally, he would have been buried with his wife, but I have to wonder if he will ever get remarried (he is still dating the woman he cheated on my sister-in-law with … I don’t have to tell you that this creates numerous uncomfortable moments.  She is nice enough, but my sister-in-law is like my own sister!  I don’t like how my brother has treater her!  For my mother’s sake I am keeping quiet.

Scott and Pepper have refused to go to the cemetery.  This wears on mom a bit, but I can hardly blame them.  Scott got into his grand philosophy a bit and mom started crying.  Far be it from my brother to think much.

That being said, we had our first post-dad barbecue today.  Friends will know that dad loved to barbecue.  He was good at it, but I always thought that he limited himself and didn’t like to experiment.  Today I got to experiment with adding some spice to the hamburgers, using real poppy-seed buns for the hot dogs, and even tried barbecuing the corn.  Dad never did any of that.

I am trying to think positively!


3 Responses to Memorial day

  1. RJDS says:

    Nice story btw. Next time I want a burger, since it was better than what I did that day. And Corn on the grill is always good stuff.

  2. teganx7 says:

    I ended up over cooking the hot dogs a little, but not much … the burgers and brats I was very proud of. My next step will be to look at doing something like chicken or polish sausage.

  3. Beth says:

    I think the serenity line is perfect–very touching. I don’t think that the chalice and wheat chaffs will really confuse anyone, but the thought’s kinda funny…

    I’m sorry your mom is upset about Scott and Pepper’s lack of visiting the cemetery. They’ll come around some time. It will take a while.

    On to the BBQ notes: (Beth chants) “pulled pork, pulled pork!” I believe one should always experiment when cooking. Good for you in taking up tradition, but on our own terms. I have yet to fire up our grill this year, but will likely do so soon. Brian has quit Seattle Sutton for a while, so I’ve been trying to get back into cooking after a few years’ break. Anyway, I’m going to attempt BBQ pulled pork at some point. We’ll see…

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