Saying goodbye?

There’s a saying that there are certain things so bad that you wouldn’t wish them on someone you hate.

I went and visited my dad today in the hospital.  I am planning to see him again tomorrow, though for all I know, this may have been the last time I see him alive.

Mom was not exaggerating his condition, and he looks terrible.  His kidneys have nearly failed, and his liver is just about gone.  He is asleep most of the time, but you can stir him awake.  His eyes are rolled back in his head, though after a moment they seem to come attentive.  He can make motions like a nod, but I can’t tell if he is genuinely responding.  His monitors noted 12 breaths-per-minute, and a blood pressure of 78/39.

When I arrived, my mom and brother were there (my brother lost his job today).  My mom woke my dad up, and told him that I was here.  He opened his eyes, rolled them to attention and looked at me.  He tried moving his arms a bit, but couldn’t speak.  He then closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

My mom noted that the priest had been in an hour earlier and administered the last rites.

I asked my mother about brain function.  Apparently his brain is functioning enough where he can respond to simple commands.  If that is true, then he may be aware to some extent of his situation.

Mom and I spent about an hour talking about funeral arrangements and a wake, then we went out to dinner.


2 Responses to Saying goodbye?

  1. Elizabeth says:

    I’m sorry, Tom. I guess it’s at least sort of a blessing to be able to say goodbye (or at least it might seem like it once it’s safely in the past), but it sounds like just torture having it drawn out like this.

    We love you.

  2. R.J.D.S. says:

    It is indeed sad, and we are here for you. Fearing the worst, I can only hope for the best. Let me know if you need anything from me.

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