I wouldn’t sweat the Asian carp and Zebra mussels …


Zebra mussels have been a problem in Lake Michigan for some time, and the EPA is desperately trying to keep the Asian carp that have overrun the Mississippi and Missouri River Systems from getting to Lake Michigan.

These are bad invasive species, but they have one thing in common: they typically don’t predate on human beings. But Chicago has a new menace in town.

For the second time in a month, an alligator has been captured in the Chicago River.

A frickin’ ALLIGATOR has been found in the CHICAGO River! It would have been less shocking if a brown bear had been found polishing off a few tourists on the Sears Tower skydeck, given that this is prairie country.

The first reports were ignored because, like, this is Chicago, and it is not known for being the domain of crocodilians. The last time large predatory reptiles roamed the Chicago area was sometime around the …. I don’t know … CRETACEOUS PERIOD?? However repeated sightings had the Chicago Police call in a reptile expert, and sure enough, plucked a gator out of the river. Just this week, a second one, measuring three feet and capable of eating cats, small children, and chihuahuas was pulled out of the river.

This may be something that Chicagoans may need to adjust to: a world where ferocious man-eating alligators are now a part of the urban fauna.

We await nature’s next move.


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