My health report arrived in the mail today. Surprisingly, I am not in as direly bad condition as I thought. My sodium and glucose were actually normal (I guess that I did stop gulping salt shakers and sugar packets at restaurants soon enough to avoid permanent damage. Not so shocking, my triglycerides, cholesterol, and LDL were high as a falcon on yehyoh, and my HDL was lower than it should be.
Most of the other problems were likely due to lack of exercise of late, and a family history of high cholesterol.
To be honest, my cholesterol, high as it was, was 248, which given my aversion to hurting plants and eating them, is not a number beyond human comprehension. Interestingly, the survey I took never asked me about family history.
I am going out to celebrate at McDonalds!