Each of the last two nights, my father has called me and, crying, asks me to help him find my mother. I can’t do that, and I try and point out why mom has left him, and why two of his children will not even speak with him anymore. He then proceeds to get mad over how ungrateful these people are, and how their anger is misplaced. He thinks the anger is over his drinking, when rather it is over his reaction to others. Frankly, I’m not even 100% sure the reason my mom left.
He cannot be helped until he acknowledges the need to change and begins working to change. I fear that the damage to his brain may make this impossible.
I have no idea what is going on, and I’m not sure that I really care. That is actually what worries me most: shouldn’t I care? I don’t think it is a defense mechanism, but it could be. The “extended” part of the family has been supportive of mom.